April 1, 2003: It's April Fool's day, and so here I am. I guess there was not Shiite rebellion in Basra, after all. Do the Brits have control there yet? I mean, it's been a while. I guess the cakewalk never materialized. But then the radio talk show hosts are all saying now that nobody ever promised this was going to be easy. Too bad they don't post transcripts of their programs. Or, from their point of view, it's lucky they don't, because they're lying like rugs. That's fine, though. After all, they're radio talk show hosts. Natalie Mains had better keep her damned opinions to herself, or get a radio show. Then she could spout them for three hours a day to her adoring listeners like Rush does.